You are very brave to tell your story this way. You are also a happy outcome... and I believe you are one of thousands who were the result of this “occupation “. I know of several people who came into the world this way, one who was my closest friend. He didn’t want to know his early history because his parents were his parents and could not have loved him more. He died some years ago and when he was close to death was asked if he regretted not knowing who his birth father was. He replied “I know who was my father. I called him Dad “, and never spoke about it again.
John, you touch on the very reason that finally convinced me to explore this topic. A decade ago I had a conversation on this topic with my father-in-law and a neighbour, both of whom have subsequently died.
My neighbour took the position that you describe. His adoptive parents were, as far as he was concerned, the parents that mattered and he absolutely did not want to know about his biological parents.
My father-in-law's story was extraordinary in that, it appeared, he had been born "on the wrong side of the blanket" as they say. The folks at 'the big house' had handed him over to a couple who lived nearby. I know, this really does sound more like the 18th century Tom Jones as described by Henry Fielding than any 20th century instance of adoption.
Anyway, this small sample really got me thinking. How many different views are there? And the thing that really got me? My neighbour, after declaring his loyalty to his adoptive parents, and strenuously saying that he did not want to know about his biological parents ... was on the verge of tears. Oh, it mattered.
That correspondence is heartbreaking reading!
You are very brave to tell your story this way. You are also a happy outcome... and I believe you are one of thousands who were the result of this “occupation “. I know of several people who came into the world this way, one who was my closest friend. He didn’t want to know his early history because his parents were his parents and could not have loved him more. He died some years ago and when he was close to death was asked if he regretted not knowing who his birth father was. He replied “I know who was my father. I called him Dad “, and never spoke about it again.
John, you touch on the very reason that finally convinced me to explore this topic. A decade ago I had a conversation on this topic with my father-in-law and a neighbour, both of whom have subsequently died.
My neighbour took the position that you describe. His adoptive parents were, as far as he was concerned, the parents that mattered and he absolutely did not want to know about his biological parents.
My father-in-law's story was extraordinary in that, it appeared, he had been born "on the wrong side of the blanket" as they say. The folks at 'the big house' had handed him over to a couple who lived nearby. I know, this really does sound more like the 18th century Tom Jones as described by Henry Fielding than any 20th century instance of adoption.
Anyway, this small sample really got me thinking. How many different views are there? And the thing that really got me? My neighbour, after declaring his loyalty to his adoptive parents, and strenuously saying that he did not want to know about his biological parents ... was on the verge of tears. Oh, it mattered.